Putting a focus on yourself is an integral part of a balanced life, and living a balanced life is not only healthy, but it is also attractive. This isn't to say that you always have to be talking about your experiences on phone dates. Always talking about yourself when your date talks very little can make you sound all about yourself. It’s more that dating should be just a part of all of the things that your life is.
You and you alone define your sense of importance. If work is important to you, stay focused. If the gym is important to you, stay focused. If travel is important to you, stay focused. Your partner should appreciate you for who you are and putting your needs as a priority is essential. On the other side, if you fake what is important to you the person on the other end of the phone line will likely feel it.
Think about some of the best conversations you have had over the last few months. The odds are that they have been either about your goals, things happening in your life, or interests that you have that someone else has shared an interest in. All of these things would not have been the subject of conversation if you did not have a focus on living your own life before the time of the discussion. By allowing, or expanding, your ability to focus and have fun, reaching your goals, and living your life, you are increasing the chances you will succeed at dating as well.
While you do need to focus on your life, making sure you have enough time to prioritize your new potential partner's needs is important to check in on over time as well. Dating is not only a commitment of love, but it is also a commitment of time. Some people do need more time from their partners than others, but most people prefer a sense of individuality and having some time to themselves to live their lives as well.
